Inner Healing
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Note: If you’re working through trauma or experiencing mental health issues that last and interfere with your life, please don’t go it alone. I highly recommend you seek out the help of a professional psychotherapist before using these inner healing tools to see if they’re right for your unique situation. Spiritual coaching and spiritual guidance are not psychotherapy, but any of my services can be a nice complement to it.
We’ve all experienced pain at some point. And even mental or emotional pain usually finds its way into our physical bodies. And it sort of gets stored there. The clues may show up as little knots or tight spots, or perhaps even physical ailments with our stomachs, our nervous systems, and so forth. Many of us have done inner healing work, only to discover there’s another layer to it that rises up six months later and…here we are again, feeling those old wounds just as intensely as ever!
This section contains some powerful techniques for more completely healing old wounds. Please do this when you feel ready, you have time and space to do it. It is powerful but emotional work. And as noted above, if you’re working through trauma, I highly recommend you check in with a psychotherapist before using these tools to see if this is the right time for you.
Ideally you do Emotion Mapping, Emotion Purging and Healing Wounds in one sitting. But it’s OK to take a break after Emotion Mapping and return to the last two sections when you’re ready. That said, you must do the last two at the same time, and do Healing Wounds immediately after Emotion Purging so please prepare time and space to do both together.
Ready to do this powerful, beautiful work? Big love to you as you go through these steps 🥰
Emotion Mapping
When we feel painful emotions, we’re often tempted to distract ourselves with something (e.g., scrolling, shopping, eating, whatever). Or we tell ourselves we’re fine, rather than feel the pain. Avoidance or “bypassing” are some of the top ways we stay stuck. If we want to get to the crux of the matter, we can do this technique that I call ‘emotion mapping.’
Step One - Name the emotion
It’s key to name the emotion you’re feeling. We may say “I’m feeling anger,” and this is a great start! But anger may be a surface emotion. Imagine the tip of an iceberg - emotions like anger are above the water line - easy to see, right? But the massive part of the iceberg is hidden below the water line. If you truly want to heal, it’s important to go deeper and get to the core emotion. This can be deeply emotional work, but incredibly impactful in helping to heal more completely.
Step Two - Peel the onion
Find a time and space where you have privacy and no distractions during or after. Move into a deeply relaxed state by taking a few deep, cleansing breaths. Some people put on soothing music (no lyrics). Binaural beats theta wave music (free on YouTube) with headphones is a great way to enter a deeply relaxed state.
Now ask what is below the surface. So, for example, if you identified anger as your surface emotion, ask yourself, “what emotion is under the anger?” Another way you could phrase the question is “what emotion is really driving the anger?” Choose whatever wording works for you. You may get an intuitive ‘hit’ right away as to what is under the anger. If this happens, try not to question is that ‘right’ or am I making stuff up? You may not get an intuitive hit right away, and you may need to be patient and keep asking. Or you may need to try again another time. Don’t force it, go with your instincts, and always be gentle and kind with yourself.
When you’ve named the emotion under the anger, ask the question again, but this time ask what’s under that emotion. So let’s say you realized that sadness is what is under the anger. This time you would ask what is under the sadness. And you keep asking the question until you feel you’ve finished your mapping and you’ve arrived at your destination - the deep, core, primal granddaddy of your emotions.
If you’re getting stuck and having a hard time identifying what emotion is under the surface emotion, try calling in your spiritual reinforcements (e.g., whatever your word is for your spiritual entity - God/Spirit/the Universe/Jesus/Allah/your angels and guides/whatever). Ask to be shown what is the deeper emotion that needs healing. It might be something like shame, unworthiness, or fear of abandonment. Those are all examples of some emotions that tend to lie deep below the water line. Some spiritual thought leaders believe that shame has the lowest vibrational energy of all. And a lot of us have shame wounding, even though we may not realize it. I never really thought shame was a big player in my life. I recently did this exercise in conjunction with a situation I was trying to heal, and was surprised to find that shame, indeed, was at the root of my feeling hurt. And the shame was linked to fear of abandonment. It was powerful stuff.
Step Three - Move on to Emotion Purging, below if you’re ready. If you’re stopping here and doing the rest of the steps at a later date, it’s important to always move and clear the energy after any of these exercises. Drink LOTS of water. Some people like to burn palo santo or sage, or dance or move their bodies, and shake it off. Or take a bath in epsom salt or sea salt. These practices really help move and clear the energy. For more info on moving and clearing energy, check out my Energy Hygiene resources.
Emotion Purging
Emotion Purging and Healing Wounds must be done together - you don’t want to stop after Emotion Purging.
Emotion Purging is simple but not easy. It’s important to be ready for this work. With Emotion Purging, you are really feeling the deep, core emotion you identified in Emotion Mapping. Many of us may have already done inner healing work, but the wounds continue to raise a ruckus in our lives. This may be because you didn’t completely feel the emotion. One of my favorite spiritual thought leaders Christina Lopes likes to say, “you’ve got to feel it to heal it.” But feeling it is unpleasant so we tend to rush this step. With Emotion Purging, you are giving yourself time and space to feel the emotion completely, so that you can purge it and be done with it. Bid it a ‘Good Day, sir’ - be gone! How amazing would that be?
👉 Note: if you’re working through trauma, I recommend you seek out the help of a licensed psychotherapist to see if this is right for you before trying the Immersion step. Also, if you’re feeling unwell or run-down, this is not the time to do this deep work. Especially if you’re not accustomed to letting yourself experience painful emotions. Pick a time when you feel ready and make sure you’ll have privacy, and you don’t have anything to do afterwards that requires a lot of your energy or focus.
Feeling ready to begin? OK then, read on!
Step One - Immersion
Find a time and space where you have privacy, enough time, and no distractions during or after. Move into a deeply relaxed state by taking a few deep, cleansing breaths. Some people put on soothing music (no lyrics). Binaural beats theta wave music (free on YouTube) with headphones is a great way to enter a deeply relaxed state.
Repeat, “It is [name of core emotion] I am feeling” over and over, out loud, until you feel the emotion so completely it consumes you. Why would you need to say it out loud, you ask? Many believe the vibration of the vocal cords intensifies the energy, and in my personal experience it does amp up the power of any intention or affirmation type work.
As an example, if your deepest, core emotion is shame, say “It is shame I am feeling.” It’s important not to say “I am ashamed.” Words have power. You are not equal to your emotions. “I am” statements imply that this emotion defines us, this is who we are. Emotions are not who we are. We are so much more than that!
Completely turn yourself over to experiencing what that emotion feels like in your body. You may feel a clenching in your stomach, or a wave moving through you, or other sensations in your body. You may cry. If so, let yourself cry. Don’t hold back. And remember you are only feeling right now, not thinking. The challenge is to set your story aside. If you slip into thinking about why you feel ashamed, the events that led up to it, and so forth, just say to yourself, I’m putting my story aside for now, and return to the sensations of immersing yourself in what shame feels like as you repeat the words. You can visualize putting your story in a drawer and closing the drawer if that helps. Just like in meditation when we’re encouraged to let thoughts pass by, and return to the breath - let your story pass by, and return to the sensation of what the emotion feels like in your body.
Repeat the statement over and over until you feel a shift. You may feel tempted to rush this step. However, when you keep repeating the statement, you will experience different levels of the feeling and different sensations. This could take 20 minutes or more. Give yourself this gift of time, brave ones! This is deep work you are doing. Keep going until you are sure you are done. You will know when that has happened. The shift may feel like you are completely emptied out and depleted. This is good! You’ve created space in your body for healing and goodness to come in!
Step Two - It’s important to move directly into Healing Wounds, below.
Healing Wounds
Healing Wounds is the final component after you’ve done Emotion Mapping and Emotion Purging.
Step One - Call in your spiritual reinforcements
Call in whatever your spiritual connection is (e.g., God/Spirit/the Universe/Jesus/Allah/your angels and guides/whatever) and really feel that connection with them, feel the love they have for you. I find it helps to place my hand on my heart.
Now, you will give that deep, core emotion you identified in Emotion Mapping to your spiritual connection. So for example, you could say, “I call in God and give the shame to Him” or, “I call in Spirit and give the shame to them to handle.” Your spiritual entity will know what to do with it - they can handle it! You should repeat this statement at least three times, out loud. You may choose to visualize handing the emotion over to them, or placing the emotion in a balloon and watching it float up to the sky and disappear.
Step Two - Break the contract
Often we make agreements we’re not even aware of, in which we are giving something to get something. For example, ‘I’ll be good and you will love me.’ In this step, we are coming out of any agreements we made because the contract no longer applies! (👉Note: there’s a lengthier, powerful exercise called Binding Agreements I’m trained in, and it can really help my clients identify their agreements and either re-write them or break them.)
To break the contract, you will state out loud - with great strength and confidence - that you are breaking any contract you made with the emotion. State that it no longer serves you, you’ve outgrown it, you don’t need it any longer. Affirm this by stating it powerfully and confidently multiple times. Perhaps visualize tearing up or setting fire to a contract.
Step Three - Affirm the truth
The truth is quite simply the opposite of the root emotion you were feeling. So for example, if the root emotion was shame, the truth might be “I am worthy and perfect just as I am, I am loved simply because I exist.” Or if the root emotion was fear of abandonment, you might affirm, “God is always with me, I always have access to God’s love and support.” Again, words are powerful, so you want to phrase this in a positive way. For example, you don’t want to say “I’m never alone,” instead say “God is always with me” because just using the word “alone” can diminish the power of the affirmation. I’ve given you some examples here, but word these affirmations in a way that resonates with you.
Step Four - Lock it in
Finally, lock in the truth by immersing yourself in the experience of what the truth feels like in your body. Use the same immersion step in Emotion Purging, above, but this time you are repeating the truth affirmation over and over until you feel it so completely it consumes you. Immerse yourself in compassion and self-love. Again, you will know when you’re done. You might feel a fullness in your body, or a feeling of being blissed out. The truth has now filled the spot where the purged emotion once resided in your body. Take a few moments to express gratitude to your spiritual team.
Step Five - Clear the energy
Drink LOTS of water when you finish any of these exercises. Some people may find it helpful to burn palo santo or sage, or dance or move their bodies, and shake it off. Or take a bath in epsom salt or sea salt. These practices really help move and clear the energy. For more info on moving and clearing energy, check out my Energy Hygiene resources.
Congratulations, brave one! You did some beautiful work!
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